Not 99 Problems, Just 99 Random Thoughts…….That could be a problem

1. Endangered species: Black love. As white women looking to create the next President start having sex with Black men at an alarming rate.
2. Endangered species 2: Black Love. Have you seen the asses on white women lately?
3. If kisses don’t lie then why is your tongue forked?
4. Can you get lower than a down low brother (Rest In Peace E. Lynn Harris)
5. Mayor Marion (that bitch set me up) Barry has a movie about his life showing on HBO called the nine lives of Marion Barry. I’ll be high when I watch it in honor.
6. Isn’t Oprah the 1st billionaire crackhead  you know? Yes Oprah hit the pipe, she isn’t anymore ’cause she’s fat as hell.
7. If your sex life is a little slow try masturbating with your off hand, feels like someone else is touching you
8. Why BET is the fore-runner in killing the culture of Black people with it’s mindless programming. Need proof, how bout Frankie & Neffi, Tiny & Yoya, Hell Date, The Wendy Williams Show, etc.
9. I do miss BET’s Uncut…something meaningful
10. Shouldn’t shock jocks and media sensationalism be extinct since everyday news has desensitize us?
11. Isn’t President Obama the real Superman to tackle the 8 years of Bush’s reign of Lex Luthor madness?
12. After only 8 months of being the 1st Lady, isn’t Michelle Obama the best 1st lady ever?
13. Don’t Black people need to get over there love affair for President Obama and judge him on the merit of his job and not the color of his skin?
14. Doesn’t former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin have a phat ass and should consider modeling nude on a polar bear skin? 
15. What’s worse a Nigga With Attitude or a Never Ignorant Getting Goals Acomplished Black Man?
16. Funny how the economic chains of slavery has ensnared most of America when it they were designed for the have nots.
17. Why have bootleg movies made movie night more affordable?
18. Why have bootleg dvds nearly killed the movie industry, but bootleg porn and free porn sites haven’t hurt the billion dollar smut industry?
19. Don’t you miss Vanessa Del Rio?
20. lol….and shame on you if you know who that is
21. Is President Obama the only Black President we had?
22. After seeing Terrel Owens Cry so much on the T.O. show, it’s no wonder he cried for Tony Romo
23. Speaking of T.O., after the episode with his grandmother I have the deepest of respect for him and he is my new favorite athlete.
24. If your favorite athlete was gay would he still be your favorite?
25. Why do Black woman dislike Kobe so?
26. Does Kobe’s wife Vanessa wish he’d cheat on her again so she could get another 4 million dollar ring?
27. Maybe Black woman aren’t mad…they just jealous as hell
28. The best safe sex: Web cams
29. Women shouldn’t get mad at on-line affairs, at least you know your man is at home
30. What will society do when everything web related shuts down?
31. Why have strip clubs become the best place to pick up dykes at?
32. Why doesn’t prostitute prices reflect the recession?
33.  Does a pimp commission set the prices of the services of a prostitute?
34. Do you know where you can find a coupon for prostitute coochie?
35. Why a woman who isn’t a great freak in bed really needs to know how to fry chicken… lol
36. Why a ugly woman who is a great freak in bed and can fry chicken will take a beautiful woman’s man 9 times out of 10?
37. Speaking of ugly women, isn’t Venus Williams the prettiest ugly woman today?
38. I wonder can she fry chicken? LOL
39. Isn’t skinny jeans just wrong?
40. Isn’t guys with big butts (no homo) in skinny jeans worse than wrong?
41. With all the politicians getting caught in extra marital affairs as of late, do you think the spirit of JFK lives on?
42. My Space killed Black Planet, Face Book killed My Space, and Twitter is killing Face Book so what’s going to kill Twitter?
43. Is Vlogging giving people more than their 5 minutes of fame?
44. Why with phones being so interactive it makes us less interactive with each other?
45. Are the homeless the only people that’s recession proof?
46. If you are a recovering sex addict, do you relapse every time you have sex?
47. Is Chris Brown the new Ike Turner?
48. One thing is for sure Rhianna took an ass whipping like Tina.
49. Why hasn’t the press been overzealous in it’s pursuit of Steeler’s quarterback Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault case like they were with Kobe Bryant?
50. Don’t you wish Michael Vick stop being dogged so he can get on with his life?
51. And how does Michael Vick Serve two years for running a dog fighting operation and Donte Stallworth; wide receiver of the Cleveland Browns commits vehicular manslaughter and serve 24 DAYS of a 30 day sentence?
52. Does anyone want to get lady justice some glasses?
53. We know PETA loves dogs, but why has PETA yet to get involved with the sexual abuse of gerbils? Yes I went there….lol  
54. With Sonia Sotomayor just being confirmed for the supreme court she’s done more than Justice Clarence Thomas
55. Somebody please help Stephon Marbury (if you don’t know who that is google it)
56. Meagan Fox is currently at odds with Transformers Director Michael Bay, question is will we go see the 3rd installment if she isn’t in it? LOL…..can somebody gimmie a hell yeah!!!
57. If your wife tells you that if she would have sex with Boris Kodjoe if  you wouldn’t find out, do you continue trust her?
58. And does this give you a free get some ass pass since she has TOLD you that she would cheat and wasn’t speaking in hypotheticals.
59. Heaven can wait for who in your life?
60. Who would you trade places with if they were damned for hell?
61. The true definition of love is a misunderstanding between two people
62. Since Michael Jackson is gone some people say we still have Prince. In hindsight he never really compared
63. Although nothing compares 2 him now!
64. speaing of MJ and Prince, they were on stage with James Brown. That was like the holy trinity of music. don’t believe me check out the link……
65. http://www.vladtv.com/video/9447/michael-jackson-james-brown-and-prince-on-stage-1983-/
66. does anyone miss Ricki Lake?
67. did anyone catch her doing a natural birth documentary? I always wonder what her plump ass looked like naked…. killed my fantasy that she was plump and pregnant
68. speaking of missing talk show host, Jenny Jones anyone?
69. And when are they finally going to take Maury off the air? …..
70. If Michael Jackson was on the Maury show he’d hear…. “Prince Michael, Paris, and Prince Jackson, they are not your children” (terrible joke, you’ll get over it)
71. People with limited understanding shouldn’t over-stand things
72. highly intelligent people should just understand things, over-thinking is over rated
73. latest sign that  the Apocalypse is upon us………Antwan L. Grandberry, a 19-year-old Dade City FL. man was arrested after assaulting his mother who caught him masturbating in the backyard.
74. latest signs that real life makes the most entertaining news……25 yr old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after hiding a 9mm pistol in his 500 pounds of flesh.
75. more funny news….. Fla. man blames cat paws for child porn downloads
76. even more funny news…. a mouse found inside an automatic teller machine along with a nest it had built with chewed-up $20 bills
77. When the Mexican (or people of Latin descent) spending power eclipse that of the Black People will we change the name Black Friday (the official unofficial shopping day to the holiday season) to Brown Friday?
78. Around Christmas time, will white little girls find it hard to find Caucasian Barbie dolls in about five years?
79. Speaking of Brown Power, get your Spanish language up because my Mexican people will be the majority in the USA soon enough.
80. When that happens will we stop recognizing the forth of July and only celebrate Cinco De myo?
81. Has the privilege of being white in America lost it’s luster?
82. Will Jeb Bush bring it back when he makes his assault on the White House in 2016?
83. Yes, that means that President Obama will be there for two terms. America loves a good underdog story, isn’t his the greatest?
84. Isn’t Michelle Obama the right woman to take over the Oprah Winfrey Show when Oprah finally rolls off the stage?
85. I mean it’s only right since no other Black woman is loved  by white woman like our 1st lady!!!!!!!
86. But aren’t you really glad that Michelle Obama is a phenomenal Black Woman without any stereotypical flaws?
87. President Michelle Obama. Has a great ring to it, doesn’t it?
88. Death is a daily occurrence, but doesn’t it seem like more ‘known people’ have passed in the last three years?
89. If Michael Jackson hadn’t died around the same time as Farrah Fawcett died, wouldn’t white America had a better chance to grieve her passing instead it just being a footnote?
90. Hell, after the great job Heath Ledger did in The Dark Knight I found myself trying to watch all of his past movies… even ‘Broke Back Mountain’.
91. Although after I watched Broke Back Mountain, I watched a couple of hours of good porn (straight) to get rid of thoughts of gay cowboys.
92. And no I’m not talking about Tony Romo and Jason Whitten…
93. At least that’s what Terrell told me. (just joking if you’re sensitive)
94. How are we in the midst’s of a sexual revolution when AIDS is running rampant?
95. Shouldn’t Magic Johnson give everybody his doctor’s number?
96. And umpteen years later Cookie is still by her man.
97. Maybe that’s because nobody would touch Cookie after Magic.
98. I’m lying, I would…..Cookie is MILF hot!!!
99.  And does the term, ‘The Ugly Side of Sex’ mean hittin’ an unattractive woman doggie style and she keeps looking back?

 

 

I had fun writing this. Feel free to leave a comment if  you like, it would be greatly appreciated!